Mama's Boy Drama: South African Man Faces Backlash Over Mom's Marriage Standards

Holifil

04 Apr, 2025

A South African man sparked controversy online after revealing the specific type of woman his mother envisions for him.
Ladies on social media weren't having it and roasted the mom's standards, encouraging the man to pursue what he truly wants instead.
The comments section turned into a heated debate as women expressed their opinions passionately in a flurry of replies.
Briefly News consulted a relationship expert to explore whether dating a mama’s boy can truly be toxic.

Every mother hopes for the best for her child, but sometimes those hopes can spark some serious discussions. Recently, a South African man found himself in the spotlight when he shared his mom's vision for his future spouse. It seems she has a particular preference: an educated woman. But not everyone agrees with her take.

Mzansi women weren't holding back their thoughts about the man's mom and her dream daughter-in-law. Image: @inkabi_yezwe Source: TikTok

Social media lit up as women from Mzansi weighed in on the mom's expectations, sharing their own experiences and opinions. The conversation quickly escalated into a heated exchange, proving that when it comes to relationships, everyone has something to say.

Why SA Women Are Roasting This Gentleman’s Mom

It’s no secret that the relationship between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law can sometimes be fraught with tension. Movies and real-life stories alike have painted a vivid picture of how complicated these dynamics can get. To avoid potential drama, this South African gentleman decided to share his mother's ideal makoti—or daughter-in-law—with his followers on social media. In a bold statement, he declared:

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“Dear future wife, mom won’t accept you unless you have a degree.”

Check out the viral post below:

What Experts Say About Dating a Mama’s Boy

To get some clarity on the situation, Briefly News turned to Paula Quinsee, a Relationship Therapy Educator, who explained the concept of a mama’s boy and whether such relationships can turn toxic. According to Paula:

“A ‘momma’s boy’ is a man who relies heavily on his mother, often putting her opinions, desires, and needs ahead of other significant relationships, including romantic ones.”

Here are some common signs that a man might be overly attached to his mom:

Always seeking his mother's approval before making major life decisions, even as an adult—think choices about clothes, cars, homes, careers, and more.
Constantly comparing his partner to his mother and expecting the same level of care and attention.
Struggling to set boundaries and allowing his mother to meddle in his relationship with his partner.
Prioritizing his mother’s needs over those of his partner or himself.

“The degree of dependency determines whether the relationship is toxic. It becomes problematic when it hinders a man’s ability to form healthy, independent relationships outside of the one with his mother.”

“If he allows his mother to manipulate or control his decisions at the expense of his partner’s emotional well-being, it creates a toxic dynamic that affects everyone involved.”

Social media users had plenty to say about the situation, and their responses ranged from supportive to scathing. Here’s a sampling of what people had to say:

@🤔 shared her inspiring journey as a makoti without a degree:

“My husband accepted me despite failing matric. He was studying medicine overseas and invited me to join him. He paid for my college education, and later, my university degree. Now, he’s a doctor, and I’m a practicing psychologist. Everyone’s story is different.”

@Goddessforreal