Why Cape Town Friendships Seem To Fizzle Out

• A young South African woman sparked a lively conversation about her take on why friendships in Cape Town don’t stand the test of time.
• Phumelele Ngcungama wanted to uncover the root causes behind the struggles of female friendships in the Mother City.
• Social media users chimed in with their thoughts, sharing the complexities that contribute to the breakup of friendships in this vibrant city.

Here’s the deal: A young and curious South African woman named Phumelele Ngcungama decided it was time to dive deep into a topic that affects so many of us—why do friendships in Cape Town seem to crumble so easily? She took to social media and invited her followers to join the conversation, asking them to weigh in on this all-too-common phenomenon.

Her online community didn’t hold back. They opened up about the various factors that can strain or even destroy friendships, shedding light on what makes Cape Town friendships so tricky to maintain. Let’s break it down a little further.

What’s Going on with Friendships in Cape Town?

Let’s face it, losing a friend can feel just as devastating as losing a family member. Friends become the family we choose, and when those bonds break, it leaves a void that’s hard to fill. In Cape Town, this seems to happen all too often. Phumelele Ngcungama, a TikTok user, noticed this trend and decided to start a conversation about it on her platform. She wanted to know why it’s so tough to build lasting friendships in the so-called "Mother City."

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Ngcungama was genuinely puzzled. She wondered aloud if there was something in the Cape Town air that made it difficult for people to form healthy, supportive friendships. In a one-minute video, she posed the question to her followers:

“What do you think makes it so hard to form friendships in Cape Town? Have you managed to create a strong community there?”

Take a moment to check out her video below:

Mzansi’s Take on Cape Town’s Friendship Struggles

The response from her followers was overwhelming. People were eager to share their experiences and theories on why Cape Town friendships are so fragile. Here’s a snapshot of what they had to say:

@Moonlight🌙 chimed in with a thought-provoking observation:

“Classism is definitely a big factor. From my experience, people often evaluate friendships based on what they can gain—whether it’s networking opportunities or career advantages. There’s this underlying pressure to be at the same ‘level’ as your friends. It feels like everyone’s too focused on climbing the social ladder!”

@Lisakanya wasn’t feeling the warmth of the Mother City:

“Let’s be real—people just aren’t kind here. It’s hard to connect when kindness feels like a rare commodity.”

@Siphe shared her personal struggle:

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“I want nothing more than to form genuine, meaningful friendships, but I’m terrified of not being able to keep up. Financially, I just can’t afford the lifestyle that some friendships seem to demand. It’s easier for me to stay on my own than to feel left out all the time.”

@yandzman summed it up with a simple but powerful statement:

“People don’t even greet each other in Cape Town. There’s this strange disconnect that makes forming connections so much harder.”

Mzansi Reacts to a Friendship Lost After Job Loss

This topic extends beyond just Cape Town. Another TikTok user recently shared her own heartbreaking experience. A 46-second WhatsApp voice note from a supposed close friend left her in a fog of confusion and disappointment. The message came after she lost her job, and instead of support, she received a cold and distant response.

Social media users were quick to rally around her, calling out the "friend" for her lack of empathy and support. Many shared their own stories of toxic friendships and offered words of encouragement to anyone who’s been through a similar situation.

At the end of the day, friendships should be about mutual support, kindness, and understanding. Whether you’re in Cape Town or anywhere else, the key to lasting friendships lies in building connections that are genuine and resilient. So, let’s keep the conversation going—what do you think makes or breaks a friendship?