Maintaining Friendships When Life Gets Chaotic: A Guide To Being A Great Friend
Let’s face it—life can get crazy. Maybe you’ve just welcomed a newborn into your world and are surviving on coffee and prayers, or you’re juggling a massive project at work with a looming deadline. Suddenly, those Thursday night hangouts or weekend get-togethers feel impossible to keep. But here’s the deal: friendships don’t have to suffer just because life gets busy. Let me walk you through some practical tips to stay connected, even when your schedule feels like a runaway train.
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When life starts spinning out of control, one of the first things we tend to let slide is our friendships. Between long work hours, family obligations, and personal goals, it can feel like there’s no room left for hanging out with pals. But here’s the thing: meaningful friendships don’t just happen—they require effort. And the good news is, with a little creativity and intentionality, you can keep those bonds strong, even when life gets overwhelming.
How to Be a Great Friend Even When Life Gets Hectic
In her insightful book, Friendship: The Evolution, Biology and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond, author Lydia Denworth dives deep into the dynamics of friendship. She points out that the thirties are often when many friendships begin to fade. Why? Because this is typically the stage where people are settling into careers, starting families, or focusing on personal growth. All of which are amazing—but they can also leave less time for social connections.
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But here’s the kicker: you don’t have to lose touch with your closest friends just because life gets complicated. In fact, meaningful friendships can actually help you navigate life’s challenges. As Samantha Barry, editor-in-chief of Glamour magazine, once said in a June 2018 interview with TODAY:
Meaningful friendships have a positive effect on your mental wellbeing. They boost your self-worth and self-confidence, and they provide a support system to help you through life’s ups and downs.
So, how do you maintain those bonds while still managing everything else? Let’s break it down.
Open Communication Is Key
One of the biggest reasons friendships falter is miscommunication—or worse, no communication at all. When you’re super busy, it’s easy for your friends to assume you’ve lost interest. But here’s the truth: most people aren’t trying to ghost you. They’re just overwhelmed. That’s why being upfront about your schedule is crucial.
Let your friends know what’s going on in your life. Whether it’s a quick text explaining why you missed last week’s dinner or an email outlining your packed calendar, honesty goes a long way. By keeping the lines of communication open, you’re showing your friends that you value them—even if you can’t always show up in person.
Schedule Consistent Catch-Ups
Let’s be real: staying connected takes effort. And if you want to maintain strong friendships, you need to make time for them. One of the best ways to do this is by scheduling regular catch-ups. Whether it’s a weekly phone call, a monthly coffee date, or even just a quick FaceTime session, setting aside dedicated time to connect can make a huge difference.
According to Jessica Crane, a wealth and business coach, friendships that involve consistent communication tend to last longer. She suggests using your calendar to block out time for these interactions, just as you would for any other important meeting. Even a short, 30-minute chat can help keep the bond alive. The key is consistency—showing up regularly, even if it’s just for a little while.
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Group Meet-Ups Save Time and Energy
If the thought of meeting up with every single friend individually feels exhausting, consider hosting a group hangout instead. Whether it’s a game night, a potluck dinner, or a casual outdoor gathering, bringing multiple friends together at once can save you time and energy. Plus, it gives everyone a chance to reconnect without feeling left out.
Think about it: instead of scheduling six separate hangouts, you can bring everyone together in one fun evening. Not only does this maximize your social time, but it also strengthens group dynamics and creates opportunities for your friends to bond with each other.
Involve Friends in Your Daily Life
Being a great friend doesn’t mean clearing your entire schedule to hang out—it’s about finding ways to include them in your everyday life. For example, if you’re running errands, invite a friend along. Need help picking out new curtains? Ask someone to come shopping with you. Going to the gym? Hit your buddy up and see if they want to join.
These small moments can add up to meaningful connections. By involving your friends in your daily activities, you’re showing them that they matter—even when your life feels chaotic. Plus, it’s a win-win: you get to spend quality time together without disrupting your routine.
Show Up When It Matters Most
There’s nothing more comforting than knowing you have someone in your corner when life gets tough. Being a supportive friend means showing up for the people you care about, especially during difficult times. And guess what? You don’t have to drop everything to be there. A thoughtful text message, a funny meme, or even a quick video call can go a long way in letting your friend know you’re thinking of them.
It’s not about grand gestures—it’s about being intentional. Whether it’s offering a listening ear, sending a care package, or simply checking in to see how they’re doing, your presence (even if it’s virtual) can make all the difference. Remember, it’s the thought that counts. And sometimes, a little effort can mean everything to someone who’s going through a rough patch.
FAQs
Friendships can be complicated, and people often have questions about how to navigate them. Here are some common concerns and answers to help you strengthen your relationships.
What Are the Qualities of a Good Friend?
When it comes to friendship, certain traits stand out. A good friend is honest, supportive, empathetic, trustworthy, and nonjudgmental. They listen without interrupting, celebrate your successes, and lift you up during tough times. Most importantly, they respect your boundaries and treat you with kindness and understanding.
How Can I Be a Better Friend?
Being a great friend requires effort, but it’s absolutely worth it. Start by being a good listener—really pay attention to what your friends are saying. Respect their boundaries, share positive affirmations, and spend quality time together. Consistency is key—show up for the little things, not just the big moments. And always remember to communicate openly and honestly.
What Questions Should I Ask My Friends?
Getting to know your friends on a deeper level is essential for building strong relationships. Ask them about their passions, dreams, and interests. What makes them happy? What are their favorite hobbies? What’s something they’ve always wanted to try? These questions help you understand who they are beyond surface-level interactions. Plus, it shows that you genuinely care about their lives.
How Do I Fix a Damaged Friendship?
If your busy schedule has caused a strain in your friendship, don’t panic. Here are some steps you can take to repair the relationship:
- Reflect on your actions and identify areas where you could improve.
- Be honest with your friend about what happened and why.
- Try communicating in a different way—sometimes a face-to-face conversation works better than a text.
- Admit your mistakes and apologize sincerely.
- Give it time as you work on being a better friend.
- And if the friendship isn’t healthy for
